


Desperately Blue

by BBirdy



Series: Torrential Blue [6]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:41:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29338464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BBirdy/pseuds/BBirdy
Summary: For a single second Sokka could see that blue light fire underneath Zuko's gold eyes, cold in it's broiling fury. Something looked… broken in him.Zuko wasn't angry, not really at the root of it all. He was in pain."I'm so sorry," Sokka's voice caught with real emotion.Frozen in place Zuko found he could only trace that tone to moments where he wore his mask.He wished he had it now.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Torrential Blue [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028164
Comments: 53
Kudos: 244





	Desperately Blue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [That_loser](https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_loser/gifts).



> This is a short aftermath to Boiling Rock.

Pulling his children into the tightest hug he could manage, Hakoda laid his cheek atop his daughter's head, the contented sigh pulled from his lungs. He blinked open tear blurred eyes. 

Suki stood off to the side, wet-eyed herself. 

Openly crying Aang wiped his cheek. 

Toph paused, feeling not only the happy family before her but the shifting figure pulling away from the saccharine scene. 

Content to watch the happy family no longer, Zuko had turned, his things on a bag slung over his shoulder. 

He needed a shower, a scrub down and to sleep on something other than those prison mats. 

But there was something inside, something deep down, that he knew already that couldn't wash out. 

Backing up step by step Zuko did his utmost to draw no attention to himself. 

Every inch further pulled something deep in his chest. 

Arms crossed tighter over himself he took yet another step away, turned away, and rounding the last corner into the hallway. 

He didn't need that kind of scene, imagine what the reunion with his own family had been only a few hours previous. 

No hugs would ever be exchanged between father and son. 

That re-realization only stoked the fire below his ribs.

Rubbing at the tight warmth there Zuko grumbled. "Stop it," he whispered. "It was… survival. That's all. You're fine. You're s-" 

He had to stop himself before he could say safe. 

How _could_ he be safe with so many secrets clinging to himself? 

Reaching his room Zuko ducked into the room designated as his own, dropping his bag on the stone with a small puff of dust. 

"Ow," he grumbled, following its descent. His entire body felt bruised. Thrown on the floor, head locked, pushed around. Even the few days they'd been gone was enough to wear him thin. 

He didn't like the dirty prisoner's uniform. Not wanting to imagine how many others had worn that particular article of clothing he owned through his bag for something clean. 

The soft knock drew him up short. 

"Come in," he called. 

Expecting one of the others, Duke or Teo, maybe Haru, come to ask. The boys had all melded well with Zuko. For his part, Zuko had nothing against any of them. Having designated himself the quiet one of the group they'd hardly shared a dozen words between them if not about meals. 

But it wasn't any of them. 

Grubby and still in his own stained red uniform Sokka peered in. There was dirt underneath his chin and nails, though a tear track had cut through the grime on his cheek. 

"Where'd you go?" he asked. 

Lifting a brow Zuko gestured around him as if asking if Sokka were kidding. 

"I mean  _ why _ ," Sokka amended. "Katara has dinner ready and we were going to tell-"

"Not interested." Zuko didn't mean to snap. He was just tired. 

His own patience coming to the end of his rope Sokka drew himself up, shoulder stiff. "Excuse me for trying to be- you know, no. I'm not defending myself. I thought we worked well together. I thought you were different. So what? Now we're back you're just going to ignore me? I got us out of there. The plan worked."

"The plan you couldn't get the riot started for without Chit Sang and the Warden you couldn't have gotten to with Suki?" Zuko lifted an eyebrow, digging more furiously through his clothing. 

"Don't you dare talk about her like that," Sokka snarled. 

"I'm not," Zuko found something clean, holding it in a white-knuckled fist. "She is definitely your better half."

Swelling in an indignation he couldn't label Sokka grit his teeth. "What's that all about?"

"Forget it," Zuko tried to move past him only to have Sokka throw an arm across the doorway. 

"No!" he pointed a finger in Zuko's face. "No, I will not forget it. We were a team back there. I want to know what's got you so pissy." 

For a single second Sokka could see that blue light fire underneath Zuko's gold eyes, cold in it's broiling fury. Something looked… broken in him. 

Zuko wasn't angry, not really at the root of it all. He was in pain. 

Trying to defend, wavering only a second, Sokka tried to amend his statement, sharpen the blow of his words. 

"I, I mean I get it. It wasn't exactly flawless."

Only just catching the roll of Zuko's eyes, Sokka watched him pull away, no longer trying to run out of the room. Back to him, Zuko pulled at the disgusting prisoner's uniform, 

"I know I got you caught and, and that whole thing with your sister and I don't know what happened with Mai, I guess you talked to her? So I get why you're mad. I got you imprisoned and… and…" Sokka's throat caught. "And hurt."

Zuko whirled back around, ready to deny, only to find Sokka's expression, not one of sympathy but deepest guilt. 

At a loss, Zuko followed his gaze down to his own rib cage. Still far too thin, spattered across the still visible rib bones was a sprawling pattern of black and violet bruising. 

"I'm so sorry," Sokka's voice caught with real emotion. 

Frozen in place Zuko found he could only trace that tone to moments where he wore his mask. 

"Those look bad," he whirled around. "I'll get Katara."

"No!" Zuko bolted forward, catching his wrists. 

Sokka could hear his heart in his ears. Guilt was a physical beast, gnawing away at his insides. "Zuko you're hurt. You're bruised," his shaking fingers- when had they begun to tremble?- brushed over places where the skin had scraped down to a deep pink layer. "What happened?"

As if the whisper had been an order the words were drawn from him. "What didn't? Fight with the woman who arrested me, the fight with Chit Sang, thrown in the cooler. We had a few fights on that island. It happens." he tried to end his statement firmly. He'd failed, voice starting to shake. 

"I'm sorry."

Hand still gripping his wrist Zuko loosened his hold. "Don't be. You didn't force me to come."

"I still got you hurt."

"You didn't," Zuko's anger stood on a precipice. Still there on the back burner, he could feel the heat of it at a great distance. "You didn't hurt me."

Sokka took the hand that had let him go, not noticing what he'd done. "That doesn't change anything. But… why would you do all that?"

For his part Zuko was fully aware of what Sokka had done, feeling the warmth of the hand on his creeping up his arm. 

"I have to prove myself," Zuko lied weakly. "I have to prove to you- and Aang and everyone that I'm not just here because, because of some plot. I want to help. I want to defeat the fire nation. They, they're not-" he was running out of things to say. With those dark blue eyes staring into his soul he was finding words further and further from him. 

"Well I," Sokka rubbed the back of his neck. "Thank you. for whatever the reason is. You helped me. You saved my father from that horrible place."

Oce more acting on an instinct he could not fully comprehend Sokka wrapped Zuko in a tight hug. 

This was not the one in the cooler, the quick awkward motion. This time both gave in to the need to cling to the other, to let the world melt away. 

With hardly a second of hesitation, Zuko's limp arms pulled tight, nails digging into the tough leather of the guard's uniform. Sokka held him, not awkward crossways as before, the lighter imitation of the chokehold put on for the guards. This was warmer. He'd wrapped both arms around Zuko's still thin waist, gripping his wrist with the opposing hand. 

Sinking into it Zuko dropped his head onto Sokka's shoulder, burying his face into the smell of dirt and sweat. The uniform was dirty. They were both disheveled and exhausted. 

And they had made it out alive. 

Alive and _safe_. 

Zuko pressed tighter against him, face buried against Sokka's chest forehead against his neck. 

"Are you okay?" Sokka pulled away a fraction, only to have the hands wound in his shirt dig tighter. 

Saying nothing Zuko could feel his grip on frazzled emotions fraying quickly. "I'm fine," he lied, words muffled, hot breath against Sokka's skin. 

"Zuko?"

"I," his voice cracked. "I thought she was going to kill you." 

"What?"

Zuko's knees were shaking now, the loosing emotion releasing across his body, leaving behind goosebumps, undoing the knots of his muscles. "My sister. When she landed on the gondola. I thought she was- I knew she was-" his breath was caught. 

All the delayed panic, the thought of losing, really losing Sokka was sinking in. He couldn't. Zuko wasn't capable to lose Sokka. 

"Oh," Sokka breathed. 

Mind whirring he tried to understand. Why? Why would Sokka being killed have shaken Zuko so badly?

Alpha instincts were too strong to ignore. Pulling Zuko tighter he placed his chin atop Zuko's head, arms tight around Zuko's shoulders. 

Pulling in his arms Zuko pressed his fists against his own collar bone, letting himself be held. 

He had to get a hold of himself. He was being weak. He was acting like a child, worse like a-

"Zuko?" Sokka spoke slowly. 

He waited, not fighting the rest of the question. 

Sokka knew he could keep going, knew what Zuko was thinking without him saying anything. 

"You, you're an omega aren't you?"

A million answers spun through his head. Biting back a denying lie or a plead not to tell the others and settling on a half-hearted shrug. "Does it matter?"

Sokka opened his mouth, shut it, and spoke again. "I was raised in a place where it mattered almost as much as your name."

Not wanting to break away, still crouched beside Sokka, whose steady gate still kept them in the doorway, Zuko did so. Taking a step back he gripped his arms tightly. "So was I."

He wasn't to sill his heart, Tell Sokka everything about how he had been treated because of it, because there was something in Sokka's face, something so non-patronizing, commiserative almost, that had Zuko so close to spilling secrets. 

With a monumental effort, Zuko kept his mouth shut. 

"Look, I get it," Sokka held up his hands in mock surrender. "Every alpha from my tribe left me before I presented. I get being, being alone and going through stuff no one can really, or wants to really help you with. But… you know you're not alone anymore. We're a team-" he cleared his throat. "All of us are. We're friends. You can talk to me- to us. We won't judge you."

Zuko wanted so badly to let himself sink back into Sokka's arms. He needed the touch of his,  _ his, _ alpha. 

"It was just, a lot," Zuko stumbled over the words, fighting himself to say them. "I had a lot to hide. With all the alpha energy, my being the prince, our trying to escape. It was like being back at the palace, where I had to hide everything. I was supposed to be the fire nation expert, to help you through it. And I just got caught, left you to fend for yourself in a culture you don't know. I could have- I should have done more."

"Oh," Sokka's own realization set in. He'd been so sure Zuko was disappointed in his own leadership skills he'd never even considered the possibility that Zuko was taking all that responsibility on himself. 

It made sense before, to think that Zuko was an alpha, to want to be so desperately in charge. 

But this was so flipped around. 

Omegas didn't want to lead, not traditionally, they didn't want to be in power, to rule. They wanted to protect, much like a mother would their child… or a lover would their intended.

And Zuko felt he had failed to keep Sokka safe. 

No wonder he was in pain. 

"You didn't do anything wrong," Sokka knew he shouldn't use his alpha voice. He very rarely did, never with Suki, only ever with B- well, Blue didn't matter then did he? "You didn't fail. I'm safe. We're all safe. And you did help me. I wouldn't have gotten onto the island without you, let alone anything after."

Zuko bit his bottom lip hard, arms curling tighter over himself. 

He just looked so small. 

"Can I…" Sokka stepped hesitantly forward. "Can I hug you again? I know you don't want, well you probably don't want the others to know about the whole omega thing and I won't but you just look like you could use-"

"Yes."

Zuko's answer was less than a whisper, hardly more than a breath. 

Pulling him into the corner, Sokka sat atop Zuko's sleeping mat and took his- the omega into his arms. 

All the trembling ceased, Zuko dropping his head on Sokka's chest. 

It should have been awkward, Sokka mused, should have felt wrong to practically cradle the fire prince. But with every instinct singing that his place in the world was only to hold Zuko as such he couldn't find the problems. 

Brushing a hand over Zuko's hair, Sokka closed his eyes. 

He loved Suki. He loved how independent she was. 

But since losing Blue there was a hole in him. He liked being himself. And as little time he knew he had to experience it Sokka soaked it in.   


He knew it wasn't fair to Zuko to fill this empty space in his heart with Zuko, but Sokka couldn't help it. Zuko fit the space so well.

Zuko buried his face against the dirty uniform. Sweat and grime or no Sokka smelled like himself and he knew this may be one of his last times to mourn the loss of his mask. 

He couldn't be this for Sokka. He couldn't use his alpha as an emotional balm for a connection Sokka could never have with him. 

_ He's just trying to calm you down _ , Zuko tried to convince himself. That's all it was. His father had told him of the relationships of battlefields. This wasn't romantic. It couldn't be. 

The comfort was still appreciated. 

Taking several deep breaths Zuko gave himself a soft moment of peace, to let his thoughts fall away. 

Then he pushed back, scooping up the pile of clothing at the end of the mat. 

"Zuko?"

"Thanks," Zuko said gruffly, pushing down stray emotion, building up the wall he had been so carefully curating. "I'm, I'm better."

Sokka caught his wrist. Up on his knees, he warred with himself, fought against the million things whirring through his mind. He wanted to say something, find a way to tell Zuko how much he... 

This was a friendship, wasn't it? A partnership? It had to be _something_. 

Zuko didn't look around, letting himself be caught, like a fish in a net. Reeling back in he took only one step. 

To steady himself. 

He couldn't let himself slide back. 

It wasn't possible. 

This could never be. Why entertain the idea?

Taking a long steady breath Zuko turned to look, face unreadable, an afterimage of the mask he'd thrown. It was no longer needed. He could shut down the part of him that longed. 

"I'm okay, Sokka," he assured. "Really. I just need a shower."

Gnawing at his cheek Sokka took to his feet, still not letting go. There was more to say. He just had to figure out how to. "Would you, are you… Will you at least come get something to eat later?"

"Sure," Zuko offered that same bland smile. 

Sokka didn't like it. The pain was something. It was emotion locked away. This was different. Like he'd shut down. 

"Okay," Sokka eased his grip, giving back the same smile. 

He would keep Zuko safe, no matter how hard he pushed back, no matter how strongly he protested. Seeing Zuko hurt was a worse affliction than his own pain. Sokka vowed it silently, watching him round the corner into the hallway. 

This wasn't a friendship, it wasn't a partnership, a, a rom- no. No matter how much he wanted it. Zuko wouldn't let him in like that. 

He didn't need it to be. Right?

Sokka crossed his arms over his chest. 

Just outside Zuko stumbled over his own feet, pressing the bundle of clothing to his mouth to keep from panting. He felt as if he had run miles. 

It was hard to keep himself from sliding back. 

Behind him, with no idea as to what Sokka could be thinking, he tried to feel anything but dread. 

How could Sokka feel anything but disgust for an omega prince? It was all anyone had felt for him. 

Without his mask, Sokka could see underneath. Those piercing blue eyes dug into his soul. 

How many more times would he have to force himself to pull back, to keep aching arms from around the shoulders he longed to hold?

"As many times as you have to," Zuko whispered, pushing himself forward, one step at a time. 

And with each step apart both felt just a fraction more alone. 

**Author's Note:**

> Not one but two hugs! :*
> 
> Just the biggest thank you to That_loser (who is not a loser no matter what their username says) who has been the biggest helper and inspiration to keep this series going. 
> 
> Just as a reminder I do reply to every comment whether they be coherent sentences or no. I love to hear requests and ideas!
> 
> Thank you everyone for just reading!


End file.
